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I havent spoke in a couple of days... So, here goes...
Friday- My play-sister Kiera hit on me. Kiera (at one time) was bisexual. I had no problem with it... C'Mon! What am i supposed to say? "You can't be my homegirl cuz you greedy". (For people who dont know what "greedy" means... you are slooow). Anyway...
Every since Kiera came to Carver people asked us were we sisters, cousins, or in any relation. To be funny, we said we were twins... it stuck.. WHO KNEW? LOL
De always thought she looked good... i mean be forreal... we look alike... lol. Just recently, she has dropped guys all together and became fully gay... I STILL have no problem. She was my homie before i found out she was bi to begin with. I told De she was ALL DA WAY GAY and he was like she too fine for that... he wanted me to tell her what he said. I could NEVER catch up with her to tell her so...
That brings us back to Friday... I walked into the restroom, Kiera was in there applying make-up.. and a girl was washing her hands about to leave.... I walked up to Kiera and said:
"My brother said you're too fine to be gay" she chuckled after applying her lip-liner... and said:
"You too fine to be str8."
I was stunned... unable to move... NO girl has EVER hit on me before! She slowly moved toward me... she played with my fingers! Oh GOD! In my mind, I screamed "TEE GET OUTTA THERE! MOVE! GET OUTTA THERE, PLEASE..." but i couldnt move... i froze. She leaned up like she was going to kiss me... And a girl walked in the restroom! YES! She moved her head her like she was fixing her hair in the mirror. I slowly backed away from Kiera...
"We continue this conversation at a later time" she said.
I believe GOD sent that girl in the restroom to stop Kiera.
After school, I was walking my usual trail, when Jason Ray (home boi from 3rd block) and Jake (an old crush i had) pulled up. Jake started to blow kisses at me. Jason asked me did i need a ride home i said yeh and i jumped in the back seat. Jake turned around and started to touch my face. Then he started talking about my "moustashe". EVERY GIRL HAS ONE!
I said "Fuck you." He smiled and said "Now?... well okay!"... then he jumped in the back seat with me. He landed by my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I started to yell... and he bit my titty.
I screamed out "Owww! That's the one i had surgery on!"
Jason yelled at Jake "Chill out! She could still be hurting."
"My bad, Tee" Jake said biting the other one.
They dropped me off at the rec center. By the time they drove off... i realized the center was closed. I didnt have my cell phone on me, so i had to walk home.
Saturday...
Nothing happened forreal, just the occasional conversation from Nee, De, J. CHRIS :D, B (Austin's cousin) and my homeboi Marrius (who has a crush on me and i have one as well)... oh, yeh and Martez.... Satuday was his 18th birthday.
Posted at 5/17/2005 8:01:04 pm by Lil-Demon
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Just because i'm in love, doesnt mean i dont get tempted... to tell you the absolute truth... EVERY GUY that has talked to me after Chris and i hooked up has failed to compete with him... I'm talking FORREAL. It has been 5 guys (thati can think of) in the past 4 (ALMOST
(Austin)--- He goes to Shades Valley High School. I can admit i thought he was cute at one time... my mom told me i shouldve hooked up with him (seeing as he's my age). There are some things that are wrong with him. He FLUNKED the 8th grade... so he's in the 9th. He said he was HALF BLACK (because his mom is white)... he was (and still is) STUPID AS HELL...
(Desi)--- He goes to Hoover High School. He was extremely good looking, but he was going for this pretty boi/ thug look and i wasnt feeling it... plus he whined too much about lil' shiit... like the fact I wasnt leaving Chris for him... or EVER get with him if me and Chris werent together in the first place.
(Dupree)--- He's graduating from Homewood High School this year. He looks so good, he makes me wanna whistle. One night he crossed the "I have a Boyfriend" boundary and kissed me. His kiss made me sick to my stomach. Why? Before he came over he had one too many sips of Budweiser. Even though it was just a lip kiss, i could STILL taste the hint of beer on his breath. Oh My GOD! I felt horrible. Not only did this MONGREL kiss me, i got a boyfriend at home thinking about me.
(Quan)--- He stays in Montgomery, but he's real cool with my Uncle Danny (17 years old). He's cool... to a certain degree. When he talks about me and him 'being together'... that's when his cool points drop. Even if i didnt have Chris... that nigga got too many girl problems with too much drama.
And finally the reason for the title of this precious entry...:
*(Martez)* He's 17 and not in school... that was a big NO anyway... He's a baltimore native so you know he stills sounds like he's from up north. He is... SUPER LAME! It seems like every 15 minutes he's asking me questions pertaining to our friendship and our "future" relationship. I could NEVER leave Chris for him. Oh... God... he earns the award for LAME NIGGA OF THE YEAR... He's like... hyper-active? i dont know... {smh}
ALL IN ALL... I'M NOT LEAVING CHRIS FOR NO DAMN BODY...
Posted at 5/11/2005 9:31:49 pm by Lil-Demon
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Oh, Chris... Can u Do It again??? Boi... oh... Boi... Christopher Durell Hudson.... We've known each other for almost 3 years. He was (and still is) Josh's homeboy. During the first couple of months (July, August, September) of me and Josh's relationship, he was cool with me. I hooked him up with an old aquaintance of mines name Ashley. After Josh and i broke up for the last time, Chris came 2 weeks later saying he liked me. The only reason he went with Ashley was to be closer to me. I didnt want to believe him, it seemed fabricated, fictitious, DOWN RIGHT FAKE, DAMNIT. When he offered to be my boyfriend, i declined. i was sure that this was brought about by Josh. After about a month, he convinced me that what he felt was real.
"I believe GOD put you on this Earth for me, and i think i should have you."
From the words of 16 year old Chris to 14 year old me.
The relationship was going fabolous until a character by the name of Kor'Darius came up. I wont explain much, but it was the BIGGEST MISTAKE i could ever make by telling Chris to support his mom (she was always in the hospital and i really didnt know her situation) and forget about me. I was SO wrapped up in my life that i knew i would forget about Chris'.
On my 16th birthday (last year of course), i was still talking to Josh... he almost persuaded me to be with him once again. I had surgery. I discovered a lump in my breast... (EXPLAIN LATER). Anyway on my birthday, i was still feeling tipsy from the medicine they gave me to help me through surgery... BUT i still found time to call Josh. This bitch wanted me to call someone for him IN THE MIDDLE of our fucking conversation. HE COULDA DID THAT SHIIT BEFORE I GOT HOME! But i'm glad i did call who he wanted to call... it was Chris :D ... After a while... Chris and i had conversations... and i began to gain more feelings for him during the couple of days... When i think about it, he was the ONLY boyfriend that i had where we had no problems, disputes, or arguements with...
We hooked up on the 28th of December. (:D) We went on a date on the 15th of January... along with Nee and his brother Corey... AND my mom. I honestly believe Chris loves me.
This is his first letter to me:
January 7th, 2004
Tia,
Baby you have so many feelings for me. You tell me that you love me, and you'll do anything for me. Tia, I like you, baby... I like you alot. I want to say i love you, but i really want to make sure that i mean it. Baby, the day is coming, me and you you will be able to chill with each other whenever we want to. No interuptions, just you and me. Tia, i put you over anything and everything. I dont need anyone else. I have everything while i'm with you. I'll write more in my next letter, but until then... bye...
Love, Chris
Doesnt that sound sweet? Man... i love that boy for reasons unexplainable... he makes me so happy.... i feel what he feels... when he's mad, i'm mad. When he's sad, i cry... i love all aspects of Chris. I honestly dont know why i feel the way i feel, but i hope these feelings last a long time with him... i couldnt picture being with anyone else... :D
Posted at 5/10/2005 10:34:50 pm by Lil-Demon
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Yesterday, I was caught up in the past. I'll continue with what went on yesterday and on with today...
Yesterday, Ghia (MOTHER NATURE) beat down my down. I was having SEVERE CRAMPS. I had to go home. My dad picked me up from school (which seemed like forever"). When i got home the kids (Octavious and Chryshia) were there. I laid in my bed, in front of my fan, and cried. I screamed, yelled, moaned, groaned... and eventually went to sleep. I woke up around... 6:30 p.m I had to get up to get my community service time sheet.
Community Service? No, i wasnt convicted... it's a project for my U.S History teacher. I honestly believe she has no life. I like her and everything, but SHE IS CRAZY! ANYWAY....
I went to the park (where i did my community service). Since i've been working at the park/ rec center... i've met some interesting characters in the past couple of weeks. One day i was in the office of the center... talking to my homeboy Vern. Next thing you know this cute guy came past the clear window of the office. He waved at me. Well... he's been coming to the gym A LOT. His homeboy came up to me and said ol' boy wanted to talk to me. He's 19 and is a freshman at UAB. His name is Jayson. Yes. Jayson with a "Y". He stands at 5'8, dark brown skin, with a goatee, and braids (with plenty of hangtime). He's REALLY cute. I didnt give up my number. If he really wanted it, he woulda asked.
I got home and was not able to talk to Chris. It made me mad because his brothers are ALWAYS on the phone. I hate calling every 30 minutes, but i'll do it if it means getting in contact with him.
I've been letting my friends read my blog. They told me, my life revolved around Daryl at one time... SO I need to write more about my baby Chris... NEXT ENTRY.
Posted at 5/10/2005 9:52:29 pm by Lil-Demon
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Last night, Courtney and I chatted on AIM. We talked about Daryl and I finally showed her this website, She wasn’t mad at all. She understood my infatuation with him. I’m glad we shared that moment. I believe it made us closer (sorta–kinda).
She made me realize that LaRye is not as much as a friend like I wanted her to be (not so much in those words). To me, LaRye is manipulative . . . to me. She’s cold . . . to me. Frigid in a way, that only I see. NOBODY SEES THE WAY SHE TREATS ME! Maybe Nee does . . . but she’s bout the only one.
You probably think it started with Daryl, but it’s been longer than that. She turned everyone against me at one time (7th grade). Everybody doesn’t like to be joked on (especially me). It hurts my feelings sometimes when people talk about me or my family. LaRye lives for it. She would talk about how light I am and how dark my grandma is and it would make me upset. So, I finally said forget it and told her I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. EVERYONE who I gained as a friend through her, shied from me and treated me as an outsider. Some of those people wanted to fight me. I felt bad, because I thought I had friends . . . I cried once. I eventually apologized to her so everyone would be my friend again. Pathetic? I know.
She continued to be detrimental to my emotions/ feelings, but I continued to be her friend. She keeps A LOT of shit from me (even more than then)... for instance... DARYL.
Adriane and LaRye knew Daryl way before I did. LaRye wanted to keep him a secret from me. Why? Don’t ask me... ASK HER! I eventually found out from Nee. I don’t think Nee ever thought I was boy-crazy as every one thought I was. She was (and is) my bestfriend, so she knew me better than that, plus I had my own "Nigga Problems". LaRye was going to hook up Nee with Daryl (to get him off Adriane). Nee and Daryl become cool. She didn’t know LaRye’s intention of hooking them up. Nee and Daryl adopted each other "play" brother and "play" sister. That’s how I got to know Daryl.
When I met him, I thought he was cool. Nothing more, nothing less... maybe how he stated how girls flock to him and how good he looked. He talked with much confidence. In most situations, I would want to try him. I didn’t want to... THEN (lol). The more I talked to him, to more I wanted to try him.
I was never "allowed" to get with Daryl. He was like forbidden fruit. It seemed like after Adriane didn’t "want" him (in ALL actuality she did), LaRye was hooking him up with every damn body (except me). Why? I understand she didn’t know that I had a crush on him, but DAMN! You never know... He could have been the one... JUST PLAYING.
That really did hurt how LaRye hid him from me. I don’t know what she thought. For the record... I know Adriane wasn’t hiding any thing, BUT it was wrong how she did him... NAUGHTY ADRIANE ::smacks her hand::
I never knew how Daryl felt about me. I still don’t forreal. Nee told me a lil something-something (like I should care), but you know I’m curious.
She already knew I was going to ask... :) She told me small stuff (as if it was any more). She said he thought I was cute, laid-back, cool, and much better to talk to than Whitney. For some reason I got happy. It made me smile to know he thought of me in a good way at one time.
Damn, I sound pathetic. Why am I still writing about Daryl? I got a nigga! When I think about it, that shit is funny... LoL. About the subject of LaRye... it’s in the past, but she still does me wrong... FUCK THAT SHIIT... I CARE NUN BOUT IT!!!
---Tia'Dra---
Posted at 5/9/2005 9:18:32 pm by Lil-Demon
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